Yo-yoing up and down. Up and down, up and down!
He checks the clock. Time is running out.
He's been in the paint for a long time.
He's going for it.
Shoots off the iron, rebound, put it up. It's dangling on the rim.
No, yes, no, yes, no.
Rebound. He's going for it.
The mustard's off the hot dog.
Another rebound. No harm, no foul.
He pumps up a long one.
Nothing but net. Oh, yes!
He scores! This one's in the refrigerator. The door is closed.
The lights are out, the eggs are cooling.
The butter's getting hard and the Jell-O is jiggling!
A picnicker said she saw a man wet and dripping walk this way.
Well, gather up all these leaves for trace evidence.
Shoot and gut every animal in the park.
Their stomachs might contain something that could be a clue.
Donate the meat to charity.
The hides can be turned into warm socks for the poor.
Grind up the bones for dog food.
I want nothing wasted.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Here we are.
A man's footprint...
...the depth of the print indicating the weight and the height of Harrison.
Tire tracks.
Tire tracks of the kind found in the classic Mercedes-Benz convertible.
The car of choice...
...for a bright, young professional woman.
An artist...
...maybe a photographer, painter.
A woman with a mysterious past.
A woman who is looking for someone.
I can feel it.
I'm as sure about that as I am that that's an anaconda.
That woman that cut us off in the Mercedes, that fits her to a tee.
License number 381 JPL.
Davy Crockett died for our sins.
Harrison's had somebody helping him all along!
Call Motor Vehicles. Get her address.
- We'll pick her up. - No. No.
There are better ways to find out what a woman knows.
Dinner and a movie, lie to her, say you love her.
That works, but in this case we're going to stake out her place.
She's going to lead us to Ryan Harrison.
- Bagley!-
Wait, I'm coming. Hey, guys!
Henningsen and Sachs presents Old People on lce.
Now through November at the Marnie lce Arena.
Good afternoon, I'm Ruth Kimball with your hometown news.
For 36 hours, Ryan Harrison, murderer, all-around big dink...
has been a fugitive.
Lieutenant Fergus Falls is heading the worldwide manhunt.
Police helicopters, dogs, psychics and thousands of police are involved.
Plus millions of average citizens who would give their left nut...
...to collect the $50,000 reward.
And who couldn't use a bit of extra money?
A couple on a fixed income, a teacher, especially a struggling artist...
...who had to return a large fee because someone hated her portrait.
I personally wouldn't trust someone like that...
...for a million, billion, trillion dollars.
The Columbia Heights Jamboree...
...is shaping--
I'm on the 6th floor, apartment 602.
What?
No, he's alone.
Well.
Well, well!
No, you don't understand.
This can't wait. This has to happen right now.
Sean Laughrea.
Hibbing's killer.
Yes. Thank you.
Harrison! Open up! We know you're in there!
It's the police!
Don't go in there!
- What are you doing? - Harrison!
Ryan, open up!
I've got a gun!
Come on!
Ryan!
Let me in! Right now!
Come out!
Is that my toilet? Ryan!
Open up!
You'll never get away, Ryan!
- Ryan! - Whoa!
Starting to give!
Aaaah!
Go!
All right, my angels...
...move!
-Patio clear! -Ivy needs water!
Den is clear!
I got spaghetti!
Watch it! Plate could be hot!
I got a shut door!
Empty.
We throw a shoe every time we start to gallop.
That man's as slick as a lizard in Jerry Lewis' hair.
Cass Lake, face of an angel.
Harrison's accomplice.
A caterpillar has 2,087 minute hairs on each leg.
But for the life of me, I cannot tell you why women keep falling...
...for the wrong man.
All right, people! Tag and log everything.
I want carpet fibers. I want wallpaper swatches.
I want all plumbing and wood surfaces analyzed.
So vacuum, cut, chip and suck!
There are two things that frost my butt:
It's a snow cone about that high...
...and the other one is Ryan Harrison.
I don't hear it, people!
- -
- Pediatrics is down the street. - Thank you.
Dr. Kimball to surgery, please. Dr. Kimball.
Dr. Kevorkian.
Dr. Kevorkian to Mr. Simpson's room.
A volcano has erupted!
Tornado!
Earthquake!
It's El Nino!
Killer bees!
An ocean liner hit an iceberg!
Thank God you're here, Doctor...Sanchez.
Because of cutbacks, you are the only person on duty.
He's pregnant.
Doctor, this man's been shot 5 times.
Down at the end in the 10-Bullets-or-Less lane.
I'll adjust that.
Maximum flow.
Doctor, you'd better take a look at this.
Uh, no, thank you.
Administer 200,000 units of adrenaline.
- But-- - Damn your "but."
I said 200,000 cc's of adrenaline.
Balance and rotate the organs.
Put granny on the gurney.
Put the cop in post-op.
-ICU? -And I see you.
You're a fine nurse.
I want to speak to you.
Isn't that a little fester?
-What? -Just below your eye there.
-Fester? ls it dangerous? -Let me get a good look at that.
Check in, Second Floor Security. Check in, please, Jackson.
I'm searching the west wing. So far, no sign of the intruder.
Nurse! Nurse!
Hold it!
Quick!
Okay. Let's go, let's go.
- Security, look behind you. - What?
- Look behind you. - Where?
Look behind you.
Oh. Too late. Go to Radiology.
We should be safe for now.
I followed the diaper truck.
As soon as I saw this hospital, I knew you must be here.
Put your hand in my pocket.
All right.
What am I looking for?
Nothing.
I just missed you, baby. We're going to party like it's 1995.
Oh, Ryan.
I hoped you'd say those words.
I love you.
Boy!
You really are something, aren't you?
You believed me just then, didn't you? How does it feel?
You were lit up like Dennis Rodman at Christmastime.
You really are good!
I do love you, Ryan. I truly do.
And you eat with that mouth?
The Beatles said it best:
"She loves you. Yeah, yeah, yeah."
Listen, Michelle, my belle...
...this nowhere man is the walrus. Kookookachoo.
Up at the apartment, you said you thought I was innocent.
But then visions of a big fat reward...
...danced through your head like sugarplums on steroids.
You made a call, you got a gat...
...and you sicced Johnny Law on me.
You're just a big bully, aren't you?
That gun was for your protection.
I called the airlines to get you a plane to South America, you mean man.
I wish I had a Quarter Pounder with Cheese every time I heard that chestnut.
This little nutcracker is not dancing to your suite anymore, princess.
I found Lauren's letters to Sean in your apartment.
Explain that!
Lauren knew Sean for a long time. You knew that.
You knew she knew him.
Yes, I knew she knew.
Netenyahu?
I knew Lauren knew Sean.
All right, the truth at last!
Oh, Ryan. They're the only family I have.
Please don't make me choose between you and my family.
Family? Lauren's your sister. And?
Sean is my brother.
Forgive me.
Dr. Ross, Dr. Green, Dr. Carter, Dr. Weaver and Dr. Benton...
...please pick up a very large check in the ER.
A man fitting Harrison's description and wearing a meat company shirt...
...has entered the ER.
There are 1,400 beds...
...a staff of 250, 150 individual rooms.
Chances of our finding Cass and Harrison right off...
...are 9,103 to 5.
It is 3:05 p.m.
We should make contact in 14 minutes...
...which makes it exactly...
...3:19 p.m. Let's do it.
Records room. Records room.
Access denied.
Air conditioning duct.
Aha.
Let's see here.
- -
- Uh, Nurse Anderson. - Yes, Doctor?
Thank you.
Let me see-- Aaaah !
Shalom!
Dr. Fridley?
Sit down.
Here it is.
It's a beauty.
It's a work of art.
The barrel is a lightweight titanium alloy.
A retractable Swiss laser scope.
A Rogers Palomino trigger, self-cleaning pump action...
...ribbed for your pleasure.
A silencer.
A Hush Puppy.
Main Menu.
Searching.
Print?
Thank you. How are you today? Getting any?
Good, he's taken the bait.
��
- �� -
��
Just give me a second! I'm almost done!
Go, go, go!
��
We'll lead him to the cornfield. Then we'll kill him.
��
- �� -
Cass.
This is some kind of trap, isn't it?
Just like your sister the night Hibbing was murdered.
- I want you to understand something. - I understand everything, Luscious.
I saw through your lies like Spam in a Ziploc bag.
I wish I could forget all this and go away together.
We can go away right now. I pack light.
Everything we need is right here in my pants.
Listen to me. I was abandoned as a child.
I never knew my mother, my father, my dog.
Yeah, pretty words, Baby Crackers.
Your Popeil Pasta Maker is spewing out fettucini full of lies.
Well, well. What do we have here?
Lookit. Something even the cat wouldn't have drug in.
Pull up a bucket of nightmares and sit down.
I've had enough of you. It's time to dispose of Ryan Harrison...
...the way I killed my dear, late husband.
I should have guessed that you did it, but I didn't.
Oh. Sean Laughrea.
What a happy, big-time family reunion.
You make the Mansons look like the Cleavers.
Family? Us? Me?
Yes.
I'm your sister. Lauren's our mother.
I'm your mother's identical twin, born ten years apart but identical.
I killed your mother. Penis envy. She was a hermaphrodite.
Mom was my mother and my father?
Sean's adopted.
I dated your real father but chose the life of a freedom fighter.
Well, Miss Thick Bubbly Lips, I found out about Dr. Fridley prosthetic leg.
One carbon steel barrel, magazine of cyanide-tipped bullets.
Nice new weapon. Right, Sean? Signal "yes"...
...by shooting yourself in the head 3 times.
Don't. It's a trick.
Very smart, Harrison, but this is where smart ends...
...and dead begins.
You die.
Ruth, as you can see, the U.N. Secretary General, Sir Robert McKintyre...
...has arrived in Columbia Heights....
There's our target.
You killed Hibbing and now McKintyre?
I can't believe it.
I hope what I just told you won't keep you from carrying out our mission.
McKintyre is an enemy to every freedom fighter on this planet.
Yes, of course.
I see you're right.
Good. Let's go.
I'll just finish packing the terrorists' lunches and I'll be right there.
See you in five?
Cass!
- -
Cass. Shh.
When you shot me at point-blank range I knew you loved me.
Those trophies back at your apartment-- You're a crack shot.
I checked myself for holes. There were just the usual ones.
You tricked them. You were using blanks, right?
Yes. I had to shoot you, Ryan. Otherwise, they would have murdered you.
After searching for my family, I discovered they're terrorists.
And now they're trying to kill my father.
Your father?
Yes. I just found out my father is the Secretary General of the U.N.
Right. Two can play at that game. We'll set a trap. You stay here.
If they change their plans, you get the word out right away.
If they realize I'm pretending to be one of them, they may try to kill me.
That's a chance I'll have to take. Good luck.
Hmm.
- -
��
The Columbia Heights Jamboree is proud to welcome...
...Mayor John Stopka...
...and United Nations Secretary General, Sir Robert McKintyre.
Sir Robert, right after the drill team you can begin your speech.
Thank you, Mayor Stopka.
��
Ohh!
Look out! He's got a leg!
Ryan!
Oh, shit!
- Cass! - Ryan!
- Come on, hurry. This way. - All right, sir, this way.
- Come on, Daddy. Come with me. - Daddy?
Ohh!
Get in! Get in!
Get in the bloody van!
Plan "B" a go. "B" a go.
It's Ryan, the bastard! And McKintyre's with him.
Ryan, look out!
Oh, my God, it's Sean! He's got a gun! Go, go, go, go!
Kill him!
Oh, no! A stinger!
Get back!
What a day!
Let's go!
That van over there!
My gun! Come on.
Quick! Over there.
Move it. Quick now!
Get down! Keep down!
Quickly! Get down! Get down!
There's plenty of room in there! Get in there! Move it, move it!
Damn!
Come on!
Drop your guns! Drop 'em!
- What?-
Give 'em up!
- Hey. Nice work. - Good one.
Stay with me, people!
Laughrea!
Fergus Falls, here's the one-armed...
...one-legged, one-eyed man!
Are you frightened, punk?
Did I fire the last bullet...
...or is there is another one in the chamber...
...with your name on it?
Does the thought of death play with your mind?
Punk?
Do you...
...gots to know?
Well...
you got lucky.
There are no more bullets in the chamber.
Whoops! My mistake!
Well, Lauren...
you'll pay the highest price of all where you're going.
Those wet lips and hot kisses will be falling on deaf ears for a long time.
They're all yours, Falls.
Tied up tight, like a bride on her honeymoon night.
And so our tracks have finally come together.
It's time to drive the golden spike.
Ryan Harrison, I say to you, on behalf of law enforcement all over the world...
...you were wrongfully accused.
Hmm?
All right, people, move 'em out!
- Ryan! - Cass!
Close your eyes.
Now don't worry.
I trust you.
Keep your eyes closed.
Now open your eyes.
I feel like I'm flying!